Top Dating Tips #9: The Fallacy of Approval

A Male Perspective Of Top Dating Tips #9

Do you think that being there for her is a good thing?

If you compromise your own needs to seek the approval of women (or to win her affection) then you may be repelling her.

These are all approval seeking behaviors:

• Constantly complimenting women to gain their affection
• Becoming the helping person, who is always there to take care of the women’s needs at the expense of your own
• Feeling nervous around women because they seem to disapprove of you
• Apologizing to her when it wasn’t even your fault
• Going out of your way to talk to a girl AND then hanging around for dear life hoping something will happen

Here is what is wrong...

With each thinking pattern other than the major flaw that they are all approval seeking:

• Constantly complimenting women or complimenting women in general is usually a big turn-off. If you do use compliments, it is best to use them sparingly

• The helping person is almost another name for the Nice Guy Syndrome

It's okay to feel a little nervous when meeting someone new. But if you feel nervous because you want to gain their approval or feel as if you have to put on a show, than this will only lead to failure. Not only are you placing too much importance on a woman, but the only approval you should seek is from yourself, not from any woman.

Why apologize for something you didn’t do?

This is a big mistake (obviously you want to get laid, but it’s not going to happen with you just hanging around. Get her number or make a date and then leave!)

The major pointer to take home is that you are your own person. You don’t need the approval of any women, person, or alien for that matter. You only need the approval of yourself.

Caution: This is not to say that you can run rampant like Godzilla and terrorize all the ladies.

It is still important to recognize the needs of others and respond accordingly as you’ll learn later on.

Think about it yourself.

Would you respect someone who follows you around all day and caters to your every whim?

If you do seek approval or have done in the past, than it’s time to stop. Not only do you lose the respect of women but it also causes you discomfort because you’re denying your own needs.

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