Fear of Change?

Could fear of change be a factor in your difficulty picking up women? As we’ve already determined, humans are creatures of habit. We do things in much the same way most of the time. When something doesn’t work out the way we hope it will, often we’ll try again using relatively the same techniques.

We tell ourselves, when it comes to picking up women, that the reason we weren’t successful in picking her up is because it just wasn’t the right woman. So we use the same techniques on a different woman, coming out with basically the same result – nadda. Again, we make up some excuse and start all over again.

But there comes a point when we’ve clearly run out of excuses. There has to be a reason other than those we’ve been telling ourselves, that makes our techniques ineffective.

Think about the last time you wanted to approach a beautiful woman, but didn’t. Think about your reason(s) for not approaching her. Maybe one reason is because you have been rejected before, and you believe you’ll be rejected again.

How is this indicative of your fear of change? It’s simple – you could change your belief that you’ll be rejected again. Alternatively, you could change your response to being rejected again.

Either way, you didn’t approach her because you are too afraid of change. It’s easier to just accept that because you’ve been rejected so many times before, you’ll be rejected again. So you do nothing.

But how does changing these beliefs help you to be successful in picking up women? I’ll review the simple answer here. If you decide you truly want to change your success in picking up women, you’ll find more in depth explanations as you read the information contained in these pages. But for now, take the simple explanation here and decide for yourself whether you truly are afraid of change, and whether you truly want to do something about it.

So we’ll start with the belief that you will be rejected again (because you have been rejected before). This is a confidence issue. You don’t believe you can be accepted. If you have the tools to be successful, you will be accepted, and your belief in your abilities will change. So changing your belief from, “I have been rejected before, so I’ll be rejected again,” to, “Just because I’ve been rejected before, doesn’t mean I’ll be rejected again,” goes a long way toward improving your confidence in yourself.

What about changing your response to being rejected? It’s true that when you’ve been rejected in the past (depending on how often and in what ways you’ve been rejected), it’s easy to feel down on yourself. Most likely, if you have experienced rejection, you’ve concluded that it’s easier just to avoid it in the future. But changing this residual response to or fear of rejection, rather than adding to all the other reasons why you’re a loser and you’ll never be successful with women, could lead you to a different response – one like, “Okay, so that one didn’t go well. What can I learn from this and how can I use that information to do something different next time?”

But again, this takes a willingness to want to change and do things differently.

So you see, either way, it’s a fear of change that held you back.

If your reason for not approaching a woman is because of a fear of change, take a moment to think about exactly what you tell yourself – “I can’t approach her because she’ll reject me.” “I’m not good enough for her.” Whatever it is, think about what you tell yourself. If you are a visual person, write down some examples of what you tell yourself.

Now look at or think about those negative statements, and figure out what you can tell yourself that counters your statements. Using the examples above, change them to, “I can approach her, and even if she rejects me, that’s okay.” “I am good enough for her, and if she rejects me, I’m still good enough.”

Whatever your negative statement is, change it. Write down the positive statements if that will help you. And the next time you want to approach a woman but but you’re afraid, repeat your positive statement several times and then go ahead and approach her. It may take a few tries, but see if it doesn’t make a difference in how you feel about yourself.

So now you need to ask yourself, are you willing to change? If your answer is yes, then read on.

If your answer is no, I guess you truly are suffering from a fear of change! In that case, may I find you a rubber room for rent?

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