Attraction and Body Language

Do you ever wonder what it is about certain men that makes women flock to them? Even guys you wouldn’t consider to be terribly good looking have something that women like. What is it?

Attraction and Body Language!

The answer is non-verbal communication. There are some guys who communicate effectively with their body, and women are instantly attracted to them. Part of this goes back to the confidence thing – how you carry your body says a lot about your confidence in yourself.

Think about women you notice. What is it that intimidates you about them? Part of it is probably looks – but that’s not always the case. I would be willing to bet a lot of what intimidates you about certain women is their non-verbal communication (their body language).

If you happen to work in a city, or a town where there are a lot of people around, or if you go to a mall, take a look at the people. Look at their body language. If you wanted to find someone who is shy, who would you pick? Would it be the person who is walking around with their shoulders back, head held high, arms swinging at their side? Or would you pick the person with the hunched shoulders, eyes lowered, with their hands in their pockets?

Confidence is about more than just your words. It’s about what you communicate to those around you with your non-verbals.

Find a mirror, preferably a full length mirror. I want you to go to the mirror and try some different poses and different expressions to see what kind of messages they convey.

If your defenses just shot up, and you’re sitting there thinking, “There is no way in hell I’m going to pose in front of a mirror,” then clearly you have a confidence issue that you are not willing to get over. You should stop reading now and continue on with your miserable existence, pining over women you will never approach.

For the rest of you who actually want to put some effort into doing something different, go to the mirror. Start with your face. Relax your muscles, don’t make a face of any sort. What do you see? Do your lips naturally turn down at the corners? Do your eyes droop? Does it naturally look like you’re frowning?

Or alternatively, does your face portray a pleasant feeling? Does your mouth turn up at the corners? Do your eyes look open and relaxed?

Now go ahead and scowl. Bring your eyebrows together and turn up your lip as if you’ve just experienced something distasteful.

Now smile. Think about something pleasant. Notice what happens to your eyes.

Once you become comfortable with making faces at yourself, and you notice the changes, relax your face again. This next exercise is slightly more difficult. I want you to concentrate on something terrifying. If you can’t easily imagine something scary, try thinking about being on the street and getting beaten up or mugged. Or try thinking about being in your car and getting hit head on. Notice what happens to your face. Look at your body. What happens?

Now think about being in bed with a beautiful woman, making love in the most romantic setting you can imagine. Notice how your face changes. Look at your body. What changed in your body when you went from thinking about something that terrifies you to something that excites you? Did you notice your body relax? Did the tension in your face and body fall away?

Once you become familiar with how you convey messages with your body, practice a look of confidence. This is going to look different for everyone, but there are some general guidelines to follow.

Start by imagining you are the worlds most confident guy. Be that confident man. What does that look like?

Chances are you’re tempted to cross your arms in front of your chest. Resist this temptation. Crossing your arms closes you off and makes you unapproachable.

Take your hands out of your pockets. Like crossing your arms, having your hands in your pockets signifies holding something back.

Put your shoulders back, hold your head up high, and put a pleasant (not goofy) look on your face. Practice going from closed off or shy or guarded to confident. Keep practicing until this feels comfortable.

If you normally carry yourself in an unconfident manner, portraying an air of confidence is going to feel weird. But don’t give up – the more you practice and put yourself out there as this seemingly confident guy, the more comfortable it will become.

Related Articles:

Reading Body Language
Eye Body Language
Body Language Signs
The Art of Body Language
Body Language Mistakes

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